Throughout my life, teachers have always complimented me on my hard work and intelligence, and at first I always believed them. I always did well on exams and excelled at most everything I did. I had complete support from my parents and most of the time, my sisters as well. But, someone else had a different opinion.
My ex bofriend was fairly supportive, but I do not think he felt I had as much intelligence as I actually did. Eventually and even to this day, his doubt in my abilities still gets to me. He would always ask me questions and I would provide an extremely knowledgeable answer only for him to ask someone else we are with the exact question. Almost always he would get the exact answer I gave, and I just didn't understand why he did not just believe me.
Even after we had broken up, he knew exactly how to burst my bubble. When discussing where I had been applying to college, he quickly told me that there was no way I would get into any of the schools I had applied, "You don't have a good enough application," he told me. I was dumbfounded, I knew I was a good choice, why did he doubt me? Thankfully, as I am writing this right now, I got into Penn State but to this day, my lack of self esteem that my ex boyfriend caused sometimes comes back to haunt me.
During stressful weeks during the semester, it is often difficult for me to keep my head up. I start to gain some confidence in my abilities, and then immediately I begin to think about all of the things he has said and I think that maybe I really can't do it. It becomes extremely difficult to remain positive and I really hope I can heal this void in my life because I am better than he ever made it seem. If I set my mind on something, I can do it.